In your 20’s you’ve encountered a ton. I mean, for a 20 something-year-old we can’t say that it’s been anything of usual accordance. Of the 28 years of life, you’ve lived through triumph and heartache and some more triumph while feeling lost with some indescribable overconfidence that you didn’t even understand (still don’t let’s not kid ourselves). Can we call it lack of fear? Or just simply being naïve. I’ll stick to faulty stubborn to do-despite outstanding circumstances nudging you in the other direction. Surprisingly enough it’s worked to your own benefit. At least we are choosing to look at it this way. Tip: keep being “brave”. You’ve felt the highest highs with invisibility to some of the lowest lows where any touch or spoken word would bring you to tears. And YES, we can say that wine has been your best friend in some of those loneliest and coldest of times (2014-2017), (2020-2021). But hey, we/you have continued on and have conquered your own battles. Currently standing on your own moon and nailing that flag down. Boom! Let us not focus on the state of the moon or the flag-just the fact that you’ve landed. That’s enough for appraisal.
Remember that your 20s are there for learning/unlearning, experiencing newness in all its ugly and beautiful forms, falling down, staying down, and eventually rummaging the courage to get back up and do it all over again. Heartache is inevitable, tears will be shed whether we want it or not and you’ll continue to be faced with some pretty heavy decisions. You have friends who love you, so please don’t take that luxury for granted. Because if there’s one thing the last two years have taught us, we can’t always do it all alone, and that’s okay. You can put your stubbornness away for this one.
When the world comes crashing at your feet
It’s okay to let others
Help pick up the pieces
If we’re present to take part in your happiness
When your circumstances are great
We are more than capable
Of sharing your pain
-community, Rupi Kaur
I will, however, applaud you for remaining upright, albeit with barely anything in your shell, during the rockiest, emotionally crippling moments in your life. You shouldn’t have had to share that burden alone, but alas you did. No amount of flights or rendezvous outings could fill in the gaps it created. And although it’s set you back in so many ways, it’s also taught you the importance of staying true to yourself, relying on others for support, the necessity of dismantling that 10-feet wall you’ve built so well, and most importantly, regaining your strength and voice in things that matter to your soul. Whatever you do moving forward, no matter how scary things may seem-don’t lose sight of her. Not again.
Luckily, you have an insatiable thirst for travel and challenge that keeps you at your toes. Changing your spaces is what helps you thrive- at this point, we can both agree that it is a tool in your toolbox to help you from falling ill to masked comfort. The real challenge is being able to navigate that need with people you want to keep in your pocket. You can’t move everyone as you wish and well, you can’t have it all, choices need to be made. It’s okay to not know the answer, as long as you don’t standstill. Whatever you do, standing still is not for you.
“Dont forget to highlight your own success, despite how small it may be to others.”
Don’t forget to highlight your own success despite how small it may be to others. You’re not on their journey, you’re on your own dammit! So be proud and loud. You need to work on that and not talk yourself down. You’re doing better but girl you be slow. But alas, patience. You’ve freakin’ conquered so many of your fears! Umm hello! Boldness is a badass quality, Natalie! At 23 your little shy self told fear no and made that crazy new adventure happen, all alone. You packed up everything from your childhood home and moved to Korea, building your home, social life, and confidence on your own two feet. Remember that first night sleeping on a dirty bare mattress wrapped in a burrito and laying on your neck pillow wrapped in a sweater to avoid touching the bare mattress. All in an empty and dirty apartment in the middle of Nowhere, Korea. Yeah, that was … sad to say the least, quite a depressing sight. But you did it, for yourself- and that only gave you more confidence to continue the adventure wherever this life has taken you. It’s now been 3 apartments in 2 countries, 19 countries all diversely explored, a million backpack stuffings and some unsanitary mishaps and a trillion moments all scattered between the makings of you. Your ability to always strive for more amazes me. Don’t belittle yourself in your process.
Keep listening to your dreams and hey, you’ll get there. Keep reading, keep dreaming and keep manifesting what you know you can achieve. The only person that is stopping you, is you. Embrace the stings and grab that beer to celebrate and get ready for a lovely, bumpy, and hell of a ride that is this life, your life.
Note: You’re doing a great job. Remind yourself of that more often and take a break sometimes. Life is going nowhere. It’ll be there when you get back.