“You traveled in search of home. You wore yourself out, not knowing that home was within you.”
In My Twenties.
Let’s start off by acknowledging the progress you have made on a myriad of levels. As a bit of a pessimist and realist, this is something you continue to struggle with. It has taken you a long time to finally acknowledge and validate the things that make you, you. You are stubborn, determined, and passionate. You tend to want to live in extremes; all or nothing. This has led you to great adventures, some not so pleasant. You have stepped up to the plate countless times, even challenged yourself to the point of exhaustion. Nonetheless, you have never ceased to keep moving forward. And slowly, you are learning to accept the necessity of rest and peace.
“You are a risk-taker.”
Here’s to the young girl, filled with lust for life and love, plagued with naiveté, too eager to experience the world with her fresh eyes. You did not shy away from that which made your stomach churn, from that which questioned the “morals” your upbringing and culture had instilled in your premature mind. You wanted to “see for yourself.” You traveled in search of home. You wore yourself out, not knowing that home was within you. Sure, you are difficult, indecisive, and fearful much of the time. But you have courage, you have grit. Despite the voice in your head telling you “this might not be the best idea,” you are not afraid to plunge. You are a risk-taker.
In your twenties, you discovered how much of an impact your thought process had on your health. How negativity fueled you to be angry and dissatisfied. You fed your own suffering at times, but you also rescued yourself from that hell hole. You began to learn how to accept and nurture yourself without hesitation, without question. You learned that it is ok to be selfish at times. You also learned to let love in. To stop behaviors that you thought were productive and instead value the opportunities presented to you.
In your twenties, you struggled with socializing and boundaries. You met many people; some looked to you as a beacon of light for mutual support and advice, while others tried to dim the fire within you. In your twenties, you prioritized your peace of mind and separated yourself from the shadows blocking the sun’s rays. You said goodbye to friends and family members who were harmful and hindered your growth.
“Don’t forget to acknowledge the positive losses”
In your twenties, you lost. You lost those you thought you could rely on. In your twenties you experienced heartbreak. You lost your greatest mentor, your first “love,” and your “best friends.” You lost time and energy on toxicity, you let the pain others had caused you trigger you to a point of despair. You let anxiety, depression, and restlessness riddle the sanctuary of your mind. But, don’t forget to acknowledge the positive losses: in your twenties, you shed a lot of insecurity and self-doubt. In your twenties, you finally felt confident and comfortable in your own skin.
In your twenties, you gained. You realized that the grass isn’t always greener. That the easiest route is not the most fulfilling. That it’s ok to breathe and be still. You learned that the harm others have done does not excuse negative behavior. That it is better to radiate good vibes always and enjoy both your own happiness and success, as well as that of others.
In your twenties, you have grown. You have become a woman that a younger you would have admired. You have allowed yourself to curate a life filled with hope, comfort, and nurturance. You continue to give yourself the love and attention you always longed for. You have forgiven, realized that everyone makes mistakes and that not all harm is intentional. In your twenties, you continue to quench your thirst for life and love. You no longer quell and ignore your desires and needs simply because no one provided that example to you. You are slaying the guilt and shame that was once disguised as humility. You are leading by example and continue to fight against that trauma that held you down. You are healing. You are working on setting healthy boundaries, curating a loving relationship with others and with yourself. You are becoming less afraid, more hopeful, and accepting life as it comes to you, knowing that every opportunity is meant for you.