“The Quiet, reserved, and scared person that you once were, was gone”
So, you turned 30 this year. WOW RIGHT!? I know, I know, this isn’t the life you thought you would have. But YOU know that deep down this life that you have right now is amazing! You are so blessed! I know it hasn’t been an easy ride but hey, you did it! You might not be exactly where you thought you’d need to be at this age, but you are exactly where you should be. This year, when you turned 30, it wasn’t just a milestone birthday for you, it was an Epiphany!
“When you were at your lowest point and hit rock bottom you thought that it could not get any worse, and it did.”
For as long as I can remember starting from my early 20’s I always felt like it was my job to be at everyone’s beck and call. I could never say “no” to someone if they asked me to do something, even if I really didn’t want to do it. This made me start to resent myself. I would start to view myself as “less than”. Not just for this reason but for many reasons. I never felt pretty enough, smart enough, my body never looked good enough. Basically, no matter what I would do I always felt like I wasn’t good enough. As time went on during your early 20’s you made friends who in a way became your family. You were on top of the world because of everything and anything you ever wanted, you had! Then with a blink of an eye, everything changed. You felt so alone and lost for a while you thought things would never get better. But little by little as time went on your wounds healed.
From 24-27, once again, you did a lot of self-discovery. You started a wonderful chapter in your life where you made lifelong friends and some of the best memories of your life. To be honest, those 3 years went by so fast you literally don’t even know where the time went. But during that time, you did a whole lot. Many accomplishments and happy memories were made.
“This was probably one of my hardest lessons you have ever learned in your entire 30 years of life.”
Now, from 27-30, this is where it gets tricky. Your whole entire life turned upside down as you would never have imagined. You were hurt by people in your life that you would never have thought could hurt you in such a way. And to add injury to insult, when you were at your lowest point and hit rock bottom you thought that it could not get any worse, and it did. The people who hurt you just kept kicking you while you were down. Thankfully, you had a group of the most amazing people surrounding you. They were there with you, helping you, and making you believe that human kindness still exists in the world. With this horrible experience, something else wonderful happened to you. You didn’t even notice that it was happening. The quiet, reserved, and scared person that you once were was gone. You are now a fighter. Fighting to survive and fighting for your rights. All those people who doubted you and thought of you as less than got to see the “NEW YOU”. And this new you doesn’t take shit from anyone. You NOW are not afraid to stand up for yourself in whatever the situation may be. This was probably one of the hardest lessons you have ever learned in your entire 30 years of life. But it is also one of the most important ones that taught you things that you will never forget. Because of this horrible experience you are a lot wiser and stronger than you ever gave yourself credit for. Your life is forever changed, but for the better. And with this change, you never changed how you view the world. You did not lose hope for one moment. You knew deep inside your heart that things would work out in the end.
“Where there’s hope, there’s life. It fills us with fresh courage and makes us strong again.”
BUT one important thing I want to remind you is that aside from all the amazing friends and family you have you have one very important pillar in your life. And that is your incredible mother. None of these things would have been possible if that woman wasn’t right by your side every single step of the way. No amount of “thank you’s” or “I love you’s” will ever be enough to show her just how much you love her or how proud you are of the person she has become. I am what I am because of my mother and her incredible strength.
“life doesn’t come with a manual; it comes with a mother.”
So sure, these past 10 years sure have been a crazy roller coaster. You had so many ups and downs but with each one, you learned a new lesson. One of the most important things that you have learned is that life is not perfect. Not even close! And to be quite honest you don’t even want it to be perfect. Where’s the fun in that?
“TRUST YOURSELF ENOUGH TO KNOW THAT YOU ARE MAKING THE RIGHT DECISIONS.”
Don’t compare yourself to others. You just want to live the best life you possibly can. Don’t worry about those extra 5 pounds. Eat what you want when you want. Try to be honest with yourself because that is the most important thing you can do in order to stay sane. Always take care of yourself, self-care is very important. Not just when it comes to your physical health but also your mental health. Don’t be hesitant to step back and take a breath and have a moment to yourself, you’ve earned it. Don’t be afraid to speak up for what you believe in and believe to be true. Help others when possible. Never forget to show compassion and empathy towards others. Tell people in your life you love them. Tell yourself how proud you are. Don’t be afraid to try new things and take a leap of faith. Trust yourself enough to know that you are making the right decisions and that things will be good in the end. All great things take time.
Dear Past, Thank you for all the lessons.
Dear future, I am now ready.
The author wishes to remain anonymous.